Drumming Journey Part 3: Deep Purple

Amethyst submerged in purified water atop my altar table.

If it's one thing I've learned about meditating during this journey is that you never know what you're in for.

My previous encounters with meditating have found me in rather interesting places. I've been in the dessert, dancing with the Fox spirit and Snake; I've laid down in a field of lavender with Artic Fox at my side; I've been on the beach listening to the soothing lessons of both Snake and Artic Fox. Lastly, I was around the campfire with all my other sisters of the SouLodge.

This time around was no different. I was already with my guides before my head even hit the pillow. As soon as the music started I saw both Snake and Fox there. We were in a grassy meadow, and we just stood there talking. I had had an interesting weekend followed by a pretty intense week, so I was looking to my guides for advice and support. As always, they were willing & ready. :)

It was basically a Question & Answer session. Fox let me pet his fur, and was mostly quiet during the conversation. He would not emphatically at certain points, but seemed content not to pipe up.

Snake on the other hand, was quite...bossy. She was unrelenting with her questions, which I answered honestly and completely. I would hardly be done talking before she hit me with another thought provoking question. We went back and forth like this for some time. I can't remember what happened afterward, except that I was feeling much more aligned but really tired as well. The three of us sat in the meadow for a while in silence before I came back up.

I've found that I have a lot of luck when using the stones to meditate. (I place it on my forehead, at the Third Eye. It seems to work best for me that way.) The music is, as always, incredibly helpful too.

Now I'm off to go look up more about my beloved Snake guide. I recently learned that, according to the Native American calender, Snake is my totem animal. I've been working with her since the Spring time when I ordered my first ever medicine bundle from Pixie. It's been enlightening getting to know myself through her, and also learning about her in the process. :)

'Til next time...

xoxo

Drumming Journey: Part 2

After my initial meditation experience I was determined to not let it get me down. I had a lot of frustration initially, because when I was younger this sort of thing was always easy for me. Only a few years ago did I notice having any trouble communicating and understanding my intuition.

So for the next round, I decided to be a little more prepared. I had had trouble just "letting go" and not trying to control my vision. Snake had been very kind and patient in guiding me down to meet White Fox. I wasn't sure if she would be there again or not the second time around.

One of the things I did differently was try to clear my space a little more. I usually lay on my bed for meditations, but the first time I hadn't made it up and there was a ton of clutter in the room. I eliminated a lot of it and tidied up around the bed so that maybe the air could flow more easily.

The other thing that I did differently was to use a piece of amethyst and place it on my third eye. I had read up somewhere where amethyst supposedly helps aid in meditation. Well, it can't hurt! :)

Happily I can say that I immediately met up with my guide without any hesitation. We started out by sitting together on a beautiful beach, it felt like we were in North Carolina possibly (a place I had visited before). And we just sat together in silence, getting used to one another's presence. Initially I still felt the need to control the situation in order to move it along. Fox was insistent that we take our time, however.

At some point it was evening, and he and I plodded along a pathway deep into the woods. I don't remember being able to see, but just going by faith and staying beside Fox's side.

We made it into the inner most center of the woods. Someone had already started a small bonfire, and I could see other women gathering around it. I could hear the garbled sounds of people talking and laughing, and someone was passing around finger foods. Bear was there and I remember seeing her wiggle her way down to the ground beside the campfire, trying to avoid sitting on anyone. I remember her being very sweet and welcoming. The bird guides were there, as well as many others, but I can't remember all of them. It was hard to make out anyone in the firelight. Apparently we were so deep in the trees that we couldn't make out any of the stars or even the moon.

Fox and I joined the circle and although I wanted to sit somewhat further back he nudged me up closer to join the rest of the group. He laid down beside me and let me pet the thick fur around his neck.

Soon all the group quieted down and the mood was calm. We were all comfortable in our silence, sitting with all of our guides. I kept feeling the itch to ask Fox what we were all doing, why I should be there, what was my purpose in the circle, etc. But every time I wanted to ask I would just stroke his mane some more and that helped to keep me present in the moment.

After some time I heard the drumming summoning me back. I remember nodding to everyone in the group, and Fox and I moved silently back home.

Drumming Journey: Part 1

The drumming journey has been by far the hardest part of this course for me. It's not due to anything outside of myself. I have had a block in my mind and in my chest that I haven't been able to fully carve out.  Part of the reason is because of the fear I wrote about at the start of this blog. I was afraid that the totem animal would somehow not be the one that I needed. That we wouldn't be a good fit.

I really wanted otter. I don't know why except that I love the animal dearly. I love their playfulness. I love the way they glide through the water. I especially love their stubby wittle wegs! The cute! It burns!

But no. Otter is not my totem animal.

Starting the process of meditation was not easy. Nothing wanted to work! The music file would not load or play correctly until the 15th try. I couldn't get comfortable on the bed. My brain wouldn't shuuuuttttupp! Complete Princess and the Pea moment, right? Right. (Although I am certainly no princess, and even if there was a pea to cause me discomfort I would have showed it who's boss by EATING THE SUCKER. Mwahaha! ...But I digress!)